Monday, July 25, 2016

"Star Trek Beyond" Review


This is a movie about spacemen. Things happen with the spacemen. Then the spacemen do things.

I like this movie. I give it 3 bourbon creams and a black jelly baby!

Okay, I'm off to experience bij.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

From the Bud and D Vault: Laura D's Report Card

I've been going through many of my notebooks of late. I came across one page that Bud wrote to me and thought I'd share...

No.19        Date 17.10.11

Laura shows promise in skills such as
  • Monkeying around
  • Voice impressions
  • Stealing crisps (particularly S + Vinegar)
  • Swearing
  • Chewing + talking (simultaneous)
  • Reading lists
In these regards Laura is a good pupil.

Well done!

(Then he drew a smiley face and tick)

If You Point A Camera At Me, I Will End Up Doing Something Weird

Yes. I am sucking the rabbit's brains out with a crazy straw.

Thursday, July 07, 2016

The Independence Day Kitten Photoshoot (And Controversy?)

I was going to post this last one to Twitter then realized the kittens had self-segregated and were making some sort of socio-political statement. I thought best they shouldn't start a Twitter Storm at just 7 days old.

Friday, July 01, 2016

The Whole Kitten Caboodle

So we had a little event in the early hours of Monday morning. 1.30am to be specific!

I was awakened by a punch in the eye from Cali the cat. "Ouch! Get off, you." This was followed by the "lion killing an antelope" move, teeth straight into my throat! I suddenly realize what's happening, it's time for that now basketball sized belly to pop. So I Michael Jordan it the hell out of bed (I don't know enough about basketball to make a proper analogy so just accept that sentence).

We sit for about 20 minutes together at the top of the stairs, ever wondered what a cat having contractions looks like? Well here you go...

Much what I imagine a human having contractions looks like, with less susceptability for meme-ing.

We eventually head downstairs and (I'll spare you all the gory details and pics) yada, yada, yada, 5 kittens!!

Okay, one gory(ish) pic...

Slimey kittens!

It took 4 hours in total then all 7 of us collapsed. Til the mewwwwing awoke us.

Now enjoy some adorable kitten pics!

Individual posts about each kitten coming to a blog near you!

Well it's coming to my blog.

At some point. 

Stop hassling me!

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Comet Festival!

So on my way to pick up some cat litter (more on that little nugget tomorrow, oh the excitement! Hold that excitement lest you need some cat litter of your own...don't poop your pants! what I'm saying. I think. ...I'm off track. Let's restart this post...)

So on my way to pick up some cat litter, I stopped of at the Comet Festival. Oh the excitement! Don't poop your pants.

"Fun fair" is a bit of a stretch, though I'm sure they were having fun in the beer tent. ...which is fair enough. I guess it is a fun fair then.

One of the rides, or a ghost house maybe. Anyway I was very fond of the pirate flags atop so I took it's picture.

A giant Mickey Mouse inflatable slide! Mickey always seems to show up at these things. You'd think he'd be too much of a big shot, but there he is, sitting up on high, looking down on all, like the fat cat he is. ...Or big cheese, if you will.

Kid with a super cool Hello Kitty balloon!! I was so jealous I went on a mission to, per chance, purchase one of my own. Turns out it was out of my price range: £3.50. Eff off! I don't have that kind of money! So for £1 I got the toughest, roughest, baddest mofo glitter tattoo they had.

That's right, a disembodied My Little Pony head. You just try not to have that haunt your dreams!!
And then it rained, no, THUNDERSTORMED on my walk home.

But we can't end a blogpost on such a note, so here is a very pretty, if soaked rose in my garden.