Saturday, July 26, 2014

LD's Mini Review of "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes"

First things first, from here on we will call the movie "Monkey Island". Much less scary that way!

Okay, onto the review!

I learned a lesson from "Monkey Island" and it was the following...(listen up kids! It's school time!)...

The Lesson I Learned: Humans are idiots. Also "Ape. Not. Kill. Ape".

It's a similar lesson I learned from Animal Farm...

"4 Legs Good, 2 Legs Bad"

Also, I'm not communist. Although I do enjoy the occasional Chinese TV show.

 Oh yeah, please ignore this Chinese movie I starred in...


That roughly translates (in monkey terms) to: "More fun than a barrel of monkeys going over Niagara Falls! And twice as scary!"

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Fishy Fish

I've heard tons of Americans, say the following sentence...

"I don't like fish that's too fishy."

And every single time I think...WHAT!

That's like saying "I don't like hotdogs that are too hotdoggy" or "I don't like comedy that's too funny".

Bizarre. Anyway, go on with your day, chaps!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Top Ten Failed Nickelodeon Reboots

10. Hey Arnold Schwarzenegger
9. CatDogPigHorse
8. Inspector Budget
7. Bugrats
6. Aaaaaa! No Monsters!
5. Ren and Stumpy
4. BotanyBob SquarePlants
3. Amiable Beavers
2. Kenan and Kelly Osbourne
1. Sabrina the Middle Aged Witch

Thank you and goodnight.

(Kudos to Bud for helping out)

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Gardening Catalogues Are Fun

At last!! I've always wanted to confuse cats, and now I CAN!

I need to get the hamster union on the phone. This is clearly copyright infringement of the famous hamster ball. Tut tut tut.

This guy ain't taking none-a your sh**.

 And I leave you with this lovely lady, who is apparently departing a morgue.

Good day.

....I said GOOD DAY!

Sunday, June 08, 2014

"X-Men: Days Of Future Past" Review

I ate a very tasty sandwich during this movie...

...oh! Also, Picard floats about on a wee mad wheelchair.

Thus, concludes my review of "X-Men: Darts of Future Farts" (original title, by the way)

I give that sandwich: 7/10

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Birthday Presents Galore

Let's see the presents by category, shall we?

"Flat Eric"
"Little Cousin Scampi"





And last but not least, I got a hamster!! She doesn't have a name yet but look how cute she is..

Paying her respects to Chino, of course.

I made out well on this birthday for sure! I even got a birthday card with a monkey on it...WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE?!